Life + Love

Eye See You


My optometrist turned me into a 65 year old. If only for a couple of hours.

My eye exam the other day included the usual testing by:

* Zeiss I profiler, an auto refractor which measures the shape of my eyeball.
* Nonn-contact tonometer that blows a puff of air into my eyes to check for glaucoma.
* Retinal scan to look for eye-related or systemic disease.
* Visual acuity tests with retinoscopy, refraction testing and a slit-lamp exam.

New this visit was the dilation of the pupils by eyedrops, required for everyone over the age of 40. This made me a little nervous, only because I was told this would temporarily ‘eff up my vision.

When my doctor placed those drops in my eyes, it was the oddest, most unnerving feeling on my eyeballs. Within minutes, everything went into soft focus. Like vaseline smeared onto a lens.

By the time I finished my eye exam and got my bill, I couldn’t even make out what was printed on the receipt. Even when I tried holding it at arms-length. (so this is what it’s like for seniors, eh?)

Not only that, but I was super light-sensitive. The sunshine outside the window looked nuclear white and I was afeared that my sunglasses wasn’t dark enough to filter out all that brightness. As the drops affects near-sightedness and not so much far-sightedness, I was cleared to drive.

With Puddle of Mud’s Blurry song, (don’t ask me why) running through my head, I slowly drove back to the office. Which was fun on a very sunny, spring day in Vancouver. Not to mention all the sunlight bouncing off other people’s car windows.

I had given the heads up to my co-workers that I’d be sporting sunglasses like a rockstar (or arsehole depending on your point of view), until the dilation wore off in a couple of hours.

But hey, good news – no signs of: macular degeneration, MS, diabetes, glaucoma, high blood pressure, artheroschlerosis, cataracts or any other signs of damage. My prescription is pretty much the same as my last appointment 4 years old, however, my astigmatism did go up.

And because I’m near-sighted to begin with, my vision won’t “flip” to farsightedness until I’m about 45-47 years old. Well, that’s something.

Getting old sure is fun.

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