A few weeks ago, I woke up to the terrible news that my dear friend whom I’ve known for over 25 years passed away. And since then I have been trying to process this loss. Throughout our 2 1/2 decades of friendship, we traveled together, partied together, lived together, and had many girls night in/out together.
Some days I can barely get out of bed or off the couch. Other days I do my best to compartmentalize my thoughts and emotions just so I could make it through the workday.
I am not ok.
And I gave Sean the heads up that even if I laugh, or smile or seem like I’m back to my normal self, I’m really not. It’ll be a while before my heart can feel light again.
Unfortunately, the pandemic compounds and amplifies the feelings of isolation and grief, as provincial health orders prohibits more than 10 people (including the minister) to be at the funeral service during the pandemic. The service would be a virtual one for most of us.
Watching the service online didn’t make it easier, as that didn’t provide the human connection. Us girls weren’t able to be there in person for each other and to say goodbye to my friend as she was laid to rest.
But I was comforted by the eulogy, because the words from the poem, Death is Nothing at All, was totally something my friend would’ve said to us to ease our pain and leave us with a smile on our faces and hope in our hearts.
Death is nothing at all.
It does not count.
I have only slipped away into the next room.
Nothing has happened.
Everything remains exactly as it was.
I am I, and you are you,
And the old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged.
Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.
Call me by the old familiar name.
Speak of me in the easy way which you always used.
Put no difference into your tone.
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.
Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes that we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was.
Let it be spoken without an effort, without the ghost of a shadow upon it.
Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am but waiting for you, for an interval,
Somewhere very near,
Just around the corner.
All is well.
Nothing is hurt; nothing is lost.
One brief moment and all will be as it was before.
How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again.
To my beautiful friend: you’ll always be in my heart + in my thoughts. I love you + will miss you for always.
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